Little Insecurities
by Nightmares-Of-Quirk
Summary: "One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else." - ? (MAJOR HIATUS, obviously)


Ginny had accepted, after many years of pining after the boy with the lightning scar, that Harry would never see her as anything more than his best friend's little sister. She wasn't particularly sure when exactly she had come to this realization, but she figured it was probably sometime around Harry and Cho's one year anniversary of dating when she happened to glance out the kitchen window to find the oh-so-perfect couple sitting in the garden… Snogging. She had come to expect the frequent visits from the Ravenclaw girl, what with Harry lodging at the Burrow for the summer, and was more than thankful that they'd had the decency to keep their displays of affection non-public. At least until this particular occurrence, of course.

Needless to say, Ginny had cried- sobbed, actually- and Hermione had done her very best to comfort her. Despite being happy for Harry, she occasionally became irritated with her best friend's daftness. It was no secret that, even though she'd had quite a fair amount of relationships with other young wizards, Ginny had always had her eye on The Boy Who Lived. It was very easy to see how she had got it stuck in her head that a potential romance might one day blossom with her youngest brother's closest companion. He was sweet, kind, easy on the eyes, and had even saved the girl's life once.

So, naturally, Ginny had scoffed when she learned of Harry's Ravenclaw fling and attempted to convince herself, more so than anyone else, that it wouldn't last a month. Much to her surprise and dismay, it had lasted that and then some. In fact, they were currently at the fourteen month mark.

_And just because I've accepted it_, the redheaded girl thought as she rested her head against the train car window, _doesn't mean I have to like it_.

Summer vacation had come to an end, and it was time for all wizarding students to return to Hogwarts to finish their studies. Ginny was seated in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express with Hermione and Ron, the last member of the Golden Trio suspiciously missing. For a while, things were quiet and unusually awkward between the three. These were the people Ginny typically felt the most at ease with, though she suspected Hermione had picked up on her sulky, gloomy mood and figured it had something to do with Harry but didn't want to ask for fear of alerting Ron to the issue.

Ginny was glad, because as annoyed as she had become with her former crush, she didn't want to be the reason her brother had a go at him. It wasn't as if she had stopped caring for him- she hadn't- and the jealousy she'd felt had worn off a while ago. Anymore, she was just mad. And not even at Cho, for stealing Harry away from her when she'd spent years trying to drop hints like she'd once childishly thought she had.

No, she was no longer angry with Cho. It was Harry that she held a grudge against. Sure, it was a tad immature, and in some ways, not completely fair, but Ginny had her reasons as to why she believed her frustration was just. He had broken her heart, after all, whether he knew it or not.

The compartment door slid open, interrupting her thoughts, and there stood the devil himself. Cho hovered dopily behind him, which surprised nobody.

"Blimey, Harry, where've you been? You missed the sweets trolley… Twice!"

Ginny rolled her eyes at her brother's obliviousness and sighed. Hermione cast a worried glance her way and then smiled at their fellow Gryffindor and his out-of-house girlfriend.

"Hello, Harry. It's good to see you, Cho."

Harry beamed back and led the shy Ravenclaw girl inside. Ginny scowled when she noticed their clasped hands and the way they leaned into each other when they sat down by Ron and across from her and Hermione.

"Sorry we didn't turn up sooner," said The Boy Who Lived, the grin that Ginny desperately wanted to smack off his face still perfectly intact. "We were actually very preoccupied with said sweets trolley."

_You pronounced locked, empty train car wrong_, she thought, noticing a blush creeping into Cho's cheeks and the distinct lack of any type of candy they'd brought with them. As the four other inhabitants carried on with their chit-chat, Ginny turned her attention to the droplets of rain that had begun to trickle down the other side of the glass. She wasn't sure why (probably because it had been raining then also), but she was instantly reminded of the day of her most recent break-up.

_They'd been walking for a good twenty minutes before they'd come to the bench on the far side of the lake. So far, it had been a warm, sunny day, and even the giant squid had fled the murky depths to skim across the water and soak up the heat. However, Ginny spotted dark gray clouds rolling in not too far off and hoped that whatever Seamus had wanted to talk about would not take too long. She had no desire to be caught in a storm if the sky did so choose to convey one._

_ For a few moments, neither of the two spoke; just simply sat and watched the large, tentacled beast splash around and ward off any other finned creature that dared swim too close._

_ At long last, the Irish boy glanced up at her and said, "This isn't workin'."_

_ Ginny, who had only barely processed what he'd said, furrowed her brows and mumbled, "Sorry?"_

_ Seamus leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "This… Us. We aren't workin' anymore, Gin."_

_ She crossed her arms and leaned back, her eyes never leaving him. "What do you mean, 'we aren't working anymore?'"_

_ By now, she could feel occasional pinpricks of rain on her skin and tugged her cardigan tighter around her torso. A slight chill had begun to fill the air._

_ "Gin, you hardly pay any attention to me these days. And when you do, all I hear about is how you don't think Cho is good enough for Harry or how you're amazed that such an 'airhead' was sorted into Ravenclaw. You don't think I see what's goin' on?"_

_ Ginny narrowed her eyes. "Seamus, what are you talking about?"_

_ The boy huffed angrily and sat up to face her. "Oh, come off it. Just drop the act. I know you still have feelings for Harry. I see the way you look at him when you should be lookin' at me."_

_ She gaped at him, flustered and not knowing how to respond. She couldn't believe what he'd just said. She absolutely did NOT still have feelings for Harry, and if she did, she wouldn't have been with Seamus for four months. How could he have possibly gotten it in his head that she wasn't interested in spending time with him anymore? She did too pay attention to him! Okay, she may have complained a little more than necessary about Cho, but that was only because she was a caring and concerned friend who only wanted the best for Harry. And at the time, she hadn't deemed Cho as what was "best."_

_ Seamus shook his head and looked down at his hands, his lips quirking into a small, rueful smile. "O' course, I shouldn't have expected you to come right out and say it, considerin' you don't even want to admit it to yourself."_

_ It was sprinkling now, and Ginny vaguely noticed the giant squid had sunk back down to the bottom of the lake, no longer interested in sunbathing. "Seamus, you're being ridiculous."_

"_Am I?"_

_ "Yes!" She got up and stood in front of him, shaking her head and recrossing her arms. It was her turn to be angry. "I really don't know where you get these ideas. If I still had any feelings at all for Harry, I wouldn't have lead you on all this time. I would have been honest with you."_

_ "Like I said, Gin. You can't even be honest with yourself."_

_ She groaned and threw her head back in frustration and was hit square in the eye by a drop of water. "Look, can we please go back to the castle and finish this? It's starting to rain."_

_ He stared at her for a moment before he stood up also. "I don't think there's anythin' to finish. I think we're done here."_

_ "What? I don't understand."_

_ "Gin…" He trailed off, giving her a pointed look. _

_ She stared at him for a moment, confused and upset. Then, "Are… Are you breaking up with me?"_

_ He breathed in heavily and sighed, closing his eyes and looking away from her. She noticed a tear slide down his cheek. She didn't mistake it for the rain. "I just… I don't see how we can go on like this. Neither of us is really happy, and you know that."_

_ Ginny felt her throat constrict as she fought back the urge to cry and sniffed. "Seamus… Seamus, I do really, really like you…"_

_ He offered her a sad smile and said, "I know. The feelin's mutual. But I think if you had to choose between me and Harry, we both know who you'd pick."_

_ And with that, he walked past her and headed back to the castle, leaving her to collapse on the bench, trying very hard not to believe he was right as lightning struck somewhere off in the distance._

"Ginny? Ginny, are you alright?"

She snapped out of her reverie and turned to face Hermione, who had a troubled look on her face.

"Of course, why?"

"You're crying," Ron supplied. She glanced over at him, one eyebrow raised. She lifted a hand to her face and realized that he was right. Tears were streaming and her nose was stuffy and her face was probably all red.

_Shit_, she thought, _just the perfect time to get emotional_.

She then glanced at Harry, which was a big mistake. He was staring at her, wide-eyed, his mouth slightly parted in concern (which she quickly mistook for disturbance). A choked sob escaped from her throat and she scrambled to the compartment door.

"I have to find Luna," she gasped.

Hermione stood up to follow her. "Ginny, wait-"

"I just- I have to find Luna," she repeated and sped off towards the Ravenclaw cars.

**A/N: **... So, I'm not too sure how I feel about the character portrayal (is portrayal the word?) in this first chapter and I feel like maybe... Somehow... I could have done better. I just didn't know how. I feel like I made Ginny seem a little too... Bitchy? ... When I was shooting more towards bitter. But only kind of bitter. Also, the reason for no Draco right off the bat: I just felt the need to esablish all of Ginny's baggage first and foremost (no matter how boring it may be) so I wouldn't have to drag it out through the whole story. But, anyway... Reviews would be super duper... Please and thank you?


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